I have been losing weight; I am not anorexic as my Phantom Noter insists on depicting me.
I like that the ants have eaten everything but my hair and that they find me more delicious than the giant basket of food next to me. I am pretty damn tasty though, if I do say so myself.
And I'm planning on winning the three-legged race at this company picnic. The ladies in Legal win it every year and I'm determined to wipe those overly-lipsticked, snaggletoothed smiles right off their faces. Those bitches better look out. As soon as I find a partner.
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