This one is just plain mean. Is it wrong to be proud of such accomplishments when they're for your physical well-being? Is it wrong to be devastatingly good-looking? Is it wrong to be... perfect?
I suppose this narrows my list of possible suspects down a fair bit; at least half of my office are fatties and a select few are morbidly obese. Apparently, Jealousy is a husky mistress. I guess it leads me to ask: why aren't there more attractive people around here? I know we should hire on merit, but c'mon, there are some serious mingers around here.
By the way, my head is that big.
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