The Fairest

Still not a death threat, though loaded with poo.  I'm surprised there's no cat in this one since my new best friend seems to be obsessed with my pet, though they have gotten very polite in their writing.  If you're reading this and don't know me, I feel I should point out that I look nothing like what he's implying. The idea that I appear to be a three-coil steamer is completely preposterous; I'm a two-coil at best.

Day Bidet

Yet another Post-It graced my desk this morning.  I'm a little concerned that this person may be a fecalpheliac.  There are stranger things out there.  This one doesn't contain a thinly veiled death threat like the last, nor is it a particular artistic achievement either.  Frankly, I expected more.  I'm not sure I even work with them because everyone in my office clearly knows that I operate outside the confines of the historical business hierarchy: I answer only to myself, come and go at my leisure, and dress in a perpetual state of Casual Friday.  Want coffee?  Make it your damned self!

At least my cat won't crap on the floor now that it lives in this shiny new office.

The Nose Knows Nothing!

So it looks like the phantom Post-it noter has struck again.  There's no denying the hate, but also the love because they are obviously searching through my garbage.  They are also caring, because they have made sure that I get the five basic food groups.  I like the stink rays now emanating from my cat's poop.  Realism.  Nice.

Why Do People Hate Me?

A co-worker (well, I suspect it was a co-worker; it very well could have been one of several shifty-eyed janitors lurking around the office) left this present for me this morning.  I'm not quite sure what to make of it.  It says "playful", but I think there's a menace to the rather decent cat doodle. 

If only my cat actually pooped in such a perfect little pyramid...